Sunday, March 10, 2013

You can't do something without starting somewhere!

I haven't posted to this blog in ages, and I think it's been pretty stagnant for a long time.  While I don't think my posts will be the same as my husband's , I think that here is a fairly pertinent place to put what I want to work on...which is...sort of lengthy to explain (for me at least).

It is very hard, to keep commitments when you have children, let alone two, let alone eventually more.  However, that is not to say that you shouldn't, especially one's focus on God, religion, and the Eucharist.  I really struggle with balancing my vocation to marriage (and therefore family) and how I am to incorperate my spiritual life within that - after all, it is next to impossible to truely focus on Mass when you're juggling two children.  However, that is an easy cop out, and perhaps an excuse.  In other words, there needs to be some real spiritual grounding in my life that has gone (sadly) missing. It is my aim and goal, to turn that around.

Back during Advent, I downloaded on Kindle a book that focused on a different Saint every week for a year.  I read it maybe twice, but then it sat gathering proverbial dust on my tablet.  There's no good excuse for me to have stopped reading it.  If I tallied up the hours I spent eyeing Facebook and reading (and I confess, judging or fighting and a myriad of other petty things) it would be not  only embarrassing , but downright shameful.

So here it is - I am going to commit myself to not only reading this book, but also blogging about it once a week.  The end of  the chapter provides great springboard questions that I will discuss and post.  I'll lay it out in the open, because I think if left to being too private, I am prone to, let's be honest, laziness.


Mark Stanzel said...

Hi Sarah, I know what you mean about starting something but then simply stop for no good reasons. Over the past 3 years I gradually fell away from reading the hours daily. This first came about because I used my smart phone to read it before mass began. One of the Friars was chatting without bounds in front of me, completely oblivious to what I was doing and then on his way after saying good bye, he turned to me and chewed me out for whatever he thought I was doing. Well, I was 49 at the time and deeply offended not just because of how he did it but in front of who he did it without bounds, my family. The irony is that he looked at and walked past a couple wearing beach attire, literally, with sandals. I went to the back to explain to him what I was doing and he never apologized but rather said he has a hangup. Well, he embarrassed me in front of my children who used to look to me for faith formation and direction. The incident hurt me so much that I became disillusioned again in priest as once it led me out of the Church. The pastor apologized for his improper behavior, but the damage had already been done. He undermined me in front of my children. Forgive, we're told. I can honestly say I resented what he did to me. It's more than pride, it's a matter of principle. We don't live 500 years ago and single. We're more educated and advanced. Priest used to be the most educated in the community. But that's changing in this new era. Formation requires transformation. Otherwise it becomes a mindless response or babbling prayer so to speak.

Now I'm trying to slowly add things I lost hope in doing as a result of this more recent scandal and since he's left things have become much better. I'm feeling much better and am now reconsidering things I had lost hope for doing. Step at a time. Set a goal and do what you can as you can do it. Add something new after a time passes. Get used to that new addition and considering adding more. Just don't forget our first vocation, your family. Sometimes people fall into error in trying to do too much. Try to integrate a rosary with rocking a child or walking down the road, park or mall. Try a shorter Christian Prayer or even the Magnificat.

I'm eager to visit here to see your updates.

Mark Stanzel

The Catholic Journeyman said...

Sarah- Amen. Look forward to reading. Hope Joseph is well.

~Joseph the Worker said...

I am doing well, have just been swamped with two kids! I should post sometime.

~Joseph the Worker said...

I am doing well, have just been swamped with two kids! I should post sometime.

Sarah Bias said...

Mark, I am so sorry to hear of your troubles. I will keep you, and your family, in my prayers. I find that changing one's mindset once children are in the picture is often harder than one thinks - this applies to all aspects of life sometimes! However, I feel after almost four years, I am finally hitting a stride in how the spiritual life changes when one has young children. While I look forward to when my children can attend things like Eucharistic Adoration, Stations, etc...I know and accept that right now, it's just not part of my vocation to marriage and family.

Dave, as Joseph said, he is great, but just busy!